Kept you waiting, huh?

     

          Ok, so this is probably going to be one hell of a rambling post. I don't know how long or short it will be, but it will almost certainly be a stream of consciousness that can only end well. Or... not.

Jeez, it's been 7 years since I wrote on this thing? Well, 6 and a bit if you want to get technical with months. Nonetheless that is an amazingly impressive term of absence. Anyone who followed this before will have rightfully decided that either the blog died or the writer did. I guess this post means that both are untrue?

I think it is certainly a testament of sorts to just how life changing a move to another country can be, the fact that it is basically that singular act that killed my writing. Either that or it just shows a lack of resolve in continuing to write anything at all. I guess this post means both are true?

I could write about everything that has happened in those seven years. Just how much my life has changed and how I've changed as a person. I probably will write about some things, since there are certain parts that are interesting enough for me to chronicle for the mass of nobodies watching this empty space with nonexistent breath. I won't write such tortured sentences though... or I'll try not to. Maybe the fact that I have finally decided to take up writing on this thing again at one of the happiest points in my life is indicative of something. I should probably stop trying to muse over everything so much though. I doubt I'd have read this far by now if it was someone else's blog I was reading.

In the long time since writing on here last I've successfully (debatably) lived in Japan for 4 years, returned home for one then returned back to Tokyo. I have gained new friends and acquaintances and I have lost pets and family members. I have had some of the best times in my life and without a doubt, some of the worst. I really do want to write about some of these things, but at the same time I'm torn between that and keeping this blog more as an avenue for more creative/academic writings like it was always intended to be.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to be a little bit of both. Until I can single down a focus. Not that I ever intend this to be anything more than just an outlet for me to just mindlessly type like I am now. Regardless, it's 5:50 on a Friday and I'm basically just wasting time at work until I can leave at a more convenient time to go on out for an evening in Akihabara. That essentially means I think this post is probably coming to an end soon.

I can't work out whether this is the most poignant thing I've written in ages or the most pointless. I am getting rid of that exclamation mark I just typed though. I definitely want less of those on here if I'm going to keep writing on this thing.

Emigration time desu

So once again I return to this forsaken blog in the hopes of actually continuing to write in it once in a while with some purpose. I'm hoping the fact that I can potentially turn this blog into another expat blog about Japan will help kill this procrastination. That isn't to say, by the way, that I don't like expat blogs about Japan. Far from it. Just there is, y'know, quite a few to look at and I'm not going to kid myself that if I do the same that it will get any readers. I'm boring, capiche?

So, on this coming Wednesday my significant other and I will finally stop wasting money on visiting Japan and actually live there for a while. At least, as long as the plan goes well and we can both find work enough to sustain us. I have a job interview this next Monday coming, too, at a preschool in Tokyo! I wasn't expecting to potentially get a job with kids that small but I think I might actually like that a lot more!

Our apartment is in Adachi-ku in Tokyo, famous for Bunka fry and Takeshi Kitano. Yes, that does mean it is as rough as it sounds, apparently. Although, to me it looks like a wonderful suburb with a stunning river to potentially set up a jogging regieme next to. Oh, and a cinema and shops. Good times. No arcade, however, which may be a deal breaker, although knowing Japan this simply cannot be true.

Oh, and we haven't finished packing yet. Nope. At least, my other half has packed all his clothes and we're almost done with games, films and music... as for my clothes? I can do that all in a day, right?

Lost In the Snow (Geddit?)

So, another hefty gap between entries. Time for another one, don't you think? Plus, if anything is going to make me want to post anything, it'll be completing Shattered Memories.

I must say, upon ordering a copy of the aforementioned Wii 'ware I was filled with a mixture of giddy anticipation and cynical apprehension (I'll leave the analogies alone for now, folks). The former because, as you silent, non-existent people will know by now I'm a huge fan of the series since its inception. Something about the psychological terror has always secretly thrilled me more than the, albeit glorious, out and out gore-fest that is Resident Evil. The latter because, unfortunately I was one of the club of people bitterly... and I mean bitterly disappointed with Homecoming.

Now, perhaps it has been studying Silent Hill and survival horror for near on two years with varying levels of intensity in anticipation of my dissertation that has warped me. Whatever it was, I just despised nearly every element of the game. From the dull as dishwater idea of a main protagonist, down to the forced combat. You know what I found fun in every other instalment of Silent Hill? Having to kill five or six nurses to simply exit a building using a battle system that is heavily used but still as clunky as any of the previous ones. Oh, and the nurses? Don't even get me started on those. Reading up on the theories and mythology surrounding Silent Hill one to four makes me immediately hate the misuse of any psychological element without correct grounding in the narrative.

Nonetheless, the more I read about Shattered Memories the more I was both intrigued yet deterred. To me, it sounded like a return to the survival horror series I loved. More emphasis on the narrative and the psychological terrors, a re-imagining of the original from a fresh, new angle and moreover... no forced combat. That said, the issue of no combat at all was one I wasn't overly impressed with either, at first. It was the therapy segments featuring that smarmy bastard Kaufman that really sold me, though. So, when it came in the post last week I had that increasingly rare moment that every gamer has at some point. The one where you forego anything else, food, water, television... just to rip off the plastic and begin immersing yourself as soon as possible.

Thank god I was pleasantly surprised. Silent Hill: Origins turned out to be a good indicator for this, as it indeed felt like a Silent Hill game. Something Homecoming never did for me. The therapy section at the beginning was wonderfully executed, with genuine thought (at least on my part) going into answering the questions posed. The town, although not the familiar foggy landscape still held that feeling of trapped isolation despite the open areas that I enjoyed. The snow was a welcome change from the films idea of ash, at least (Nope, not a big fan of the movie canon here, guys). The 'nightmares' also became a welcome surprise. The complete lack of combat certainly does add a constant sense of desperation and tension as you run away from the 'agents' of your repressed memories. God, how I love all that psycho-babble actually making sense in the context of the game.

I guess the only negative for me, if I can call it that, is that perhaps the game hit home a little too much for me. I know the majority of people who play this won't experience any resonance with the on-screen issues or, at the very least, wouldn't care. I did however, at various points but I can't commit to calling this a flaw. If anything, despite at times feeling uncomfortable with what I was being confronted with this actually worked within the context of what I was experiencing. Both as Cheryl/Harry and myself. If anything, I'm sure the development team should be commended that it felt that real.

So, all in all, despite my reservations about being hurt again by a series I loved, instead it has rekindled that joy that I felt with its earlier brethren. I guess I should just be lucky that I wasn't as die-hard a fan of Sonic as my fiancé, eh? Ten years or so of pain, now that is dedication to a series.

Home Alone: Isolation in Harvest Moon{?}

Firstly, I thought I'd follow the trend of writing in this font. Partially because the more I look at it, the more I like it and secondly? Well, secondly it saves me having to edit the font every time I start a new blog. Lazy, no? I have however decided to put off making this blog look any snazzier for now. After all, if there is only really me seeing it then there is no real need for flashy icons or colours... yet!

Anywho, on to the topic of the day. I thought of this whilst playing through Rune Factory. A DS game I got for Christmas a year or so back and was immediately addicted to... for a time. Then I fell back out of playing it until something reminded me of the Harvest Moon series, one that I have always been rather partial to. So, with renewed gusto I threw myself back into the game with a re-thought strategy and new hopes. It didn't disappoint... much. That is to say, I am still rather enjoying it but when it comes to the social interaction side of things, an element of Harvest Moon games I feel key; I find it rather lacking.

I remember playing Harvest Moon: Back to Nature years ago and being surprised at how much the game expressed a sense of community. Everyone in the village of Mineral Town wanted to get to know you and, more over, they wanted to see you stick at renovating the farm you inherited. People noticably grew to like you more and more with a little effort, the bachelorettes in particular were a pleasure to please. Each time their heart beating above the dialogue space changed to a different colour and grew bigger it was a mini achievement in itself. This is all without mentioning the festivals and personal events, of which there was plenty. Wandering into a new screen only to see the beginnings of a new event was exciting and the festivals offered a sense of togetherness that few games offer these days. However, even the memory of this brilliant game is now changing as I think back on it. In part, I'd presume, to the effects that Rune Factory is having on me.

Sure, it is a 'Fantasy Harvest Moon' but a Harvest Moon nonetheless. Which is why I was rather puzzled when even after a whole spring of getting to know the villagers, I still felt rather disparate from them. I knew from the beginning the girls didn't have that telltale heart to signify immediately their thoughts on my young 'farmer' but I assumed their affections would still be clear. Of course, as with any game wherein an element is chasing after love interests, the other villagers were lower on my 'to impress' list; however, they still remained an important factor. This meant that when, after a whole season, they still only said the vaguest of things to me, usually about my newest cave expedition, kind of disappointing. I'd spent a whole season farming, mining, handing out gifts and exploring only to be told the same few lines over and over again? Of course, as I progressed with each cave their subject would change minutely, but overall the effect would be the same. "Be careful heading into Carmite Cave!" "Toros Cave is dangerous, so be careful!". The only respite that I was offered came in the form of the festivals yet, as I soon discovered, even then they had little to say.

Was it the fact that my character in this game was an outsider with amnesia that made the villagers more wary of my existance? In the beginning people seemed cagey, yet after the first cave this seemed to change with their expressions. So, what was it? Was it the fact that I lived on the outskirts of town? I wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was this that got my thoughts turning back to its Playstation bretheren. Only then was it that I started to piece connections together. Something that shook my memories of the friendly people of Mineral Town. Maybe that whole community had always been fragile. Built only on the slightest of feelings. In each game our 'Hero' is set up to reside in a farm on the outskirts of the town. Never inside the town, even if other farms are there. Sure, the issue of space is an obvious one, I'll give the game that, but the other farms seem to profit just fine!

Another thing is that you always ultimately spend more time on your farm or mining than you do in the heart of the community. Even on festival days a bulk of your spare schedule is given aside to harvesting those crops or rushing off to mine some more of that ore. Once again, the premise of the game is an obvious culprit for it. Even so, I can't shake the feeling that it is rather rude for you to run off to do other things when the other farmers or shop owners et all are willing to put aside a whole days trade to participate in the festivities.

I guess one of the more obvious points as well lies in when you finally gain your sought after wife. Even if she was an important part in the community she seems to give this all up to stay by your side at the farm. I know for sure that in Back to Nature if you marry Elli she will still work occasionally, but not half as much as they did before the relationship. In this way it seems that even your wife eventually has to share in the partial solitude of your life. Well, I guess that must have been one of the vows when they did the deed, huh? "To live with forever, in barely sociable conditions till death do us part."

I guess what I am trying to strike at is that, depending on your outlook or your quabbles with existentialism, Harvest Moon can either seem to be a welcoming world or a falsely friendly one. I once used to believe that the villagers of Mineral Town cared about my existance, welcomed me to festivals with open arms. Perhaps they only ever did that because I significantly improved the economy, even if I was an outsider. I can't see the townsfolk in Rune Factory minding if I kicked the bucket, in fact, it would probably only change a couple of words in their dialogue. "Be careful in death! I hear it is horrible!" "Wandering the eternal abyss is dangerous, you know!"

Then again, maybe I am being just a little too critical.Who knows. Sacred Night is coming up soon and I think I'm just about winning Bianca over finally... one more date and she may be mine!

Dissertation in the making and censorship in the wrong-doing.

Not the most interesting of updates, but it'll have to suffice for now. At least it shows promise that I'm not giving up on this thing in one week like I thought I would!

So, even though it is just a couple of months into the summer holidays I've made a start on my dissertation. Mainly out of boredom, also due to the fact that disturbingly I like academic research quite a bit. At the moment this has mainly consisted of reading up on my Video Game Theory Reader and taking a few notes whilst looking at Wikipedia on various Video Games adaptations. Yep, not the most academic of resources yet but considering I won't need to hand this in until next year I think it is a good start!

In the course of thinking about my dissertation I've come up with so many other threads of debate that I could talk about. Some less controversial than others. You see, discussing the idea that critics who review films nowadays come from an era when video games = levels, bosses, scores and violent beat 'em ups, not to mention that this was perpetuated by early films (Super Mario Bros 1993, Street Fighter 1994, Double Dragon 1994 et all) as to why they are usually panned; is far more acceptable than arguing that one day Video Games may one day surpass films as a dominant story-telling medium. Something I probably will leave to the end of the whole thing, if at all!

In other thoughts on future writings, I am rather disturbed by the story of censorship in doujin ero games in Japan are being censored and in some cases, banned. Now, I'm not about to get into a huge argument as I believe there have been many far more eloquent ones than mine. I'm not about to say that games simulating rape are necessarily good or worthwhile, but censorship is a whole different thing. Especially when that censorship came about because a Western country found a three year old game on Amazon that was passed in and only intended for Japan. I feel that, as someone who wished to study more into these games and their cultural effects, that the fact that international voices can have such an effect on something that should have been an internal affair, is somewhat wrong. By all means, if the Japanese government and governing bodies had decided that this was right for them, then that would be fine. However, because a game that was sold in the wrong place, to the wrong market caused so much fuss? I feel that it perhaps should have came around differently.

Well, I'd probably write more about this if it wasn't 1.30 am. I don't trust that I can use words correctly after around 1.20 am. Sooo. That's all for today. Fun, no?

A new beginning? For how long...

Alright, so I've decided that rather than talking and thinking about writing various things about Video Games, maybe I actually should. Easier said than done when I have as much self-confidence in my writing as I do in... well, something not entirely great.

To that end I've thought that if I can write about a game that I have recently completed, using all my filmic/video game knowledge, then maybe... just maybe I will learn something along the way. We shall see. Considering my recently discovered interest in Gender and Sexuality thanks to a mishap with Uni electives, I'd love to write about that but I don't know exactly how credable anything I write will be.

...I'll give it a shot. After all, like most of my ventures it will probably only last a week!

Newcastle Brown

Well, yesterday we finally returned from a brief interlude up North. Setting off on Sunday we travelled almost the length of the country up to that place called Newcastle. The main reason for going up there was o'course to see my other half's sister and her partner. The journey up was certainly fun... all 8 odd hours of it. Still, I feel like I've seen more of Britain's small villages in the trip up and down than I will ever probably see again.

Newcastle itself was a vibrant enough place, a Metro system that felt oddly similar to that of Tokyo's own (Except crowded and y'know... high tech). We stopped at a swish 'Apart-hotel' place that I would have loved to stop in longer, big bed, flat screen TV, free butter and milk pots. Who could ask for more? Whilst we stopped in Newcastle, we actually didn't see much of the city itself, instead venturing outside to see the surrounding areas. Durham, Hexham and a couple of other towns were on the agenda. Both of which had a brilliant 'old-world' feel to them whilst being interesting in their own right. In fact, Durham felt incredibly like Leicester, which made me feel at home.

We did manage to go out with everyone a couple of nights. Once was to a local pub called 'The Carriage', a nice place with a man hanging from the ceiling and a, well, old carriage out the back. The next night we headed into the 'China-town' district for some Japanese food at Hana Hana. Brilliant place with the chef not only cooking your food in front of you but performing tricks of sorts. We had a wonderful time overall.

The trip home was less awe-inspiring. Although we managed to drop off for a moment in Leeds, all we really managed to see was the Asda in Cross Gates and a glimpse of the city centre. Not to mention the trip ended up a full 4 hours longer, meaning we spent as long on the road back as we did on the flight back from Japan. Fun and frolics indeed.

Anywho, in more mundane news (If that is possible) Christmas presents are nearly all sorted out and those that need to be ordered from further afield are in place. It's a curse loving so many things from a country half the world away, I tell you...